Well, it's been a long long time. Now, words start.
Too much to write, to much to say.
Firstly, I would like to reply a 'blog' to someone else.
Few months after, I have really no idea what's going for both of us. You are thinking in your ways and I am thinking in mine. You are trying to understand my words and I am trying to figure out your mind, what are you suffering what are you trying to speak. Indeed, I know all about these. As I said and you knew, do not speak doesn't mean we don't know. I am lack of vocabulary to describe all my sucks feelings. That's why i told you, if there is a machine that can help human living convert or transfer their feelings to another, I would like to be the first volunteer and glad to be experimented.
You can blame on me. I do always hope you can do so cause I'm sick with myself too. What have you done, I really appreciate. Maybe the way I express 'doesn't meet your expectation' that's why you're not satisfied with it and mad on I'm not appreciating. Quan, I knew it. I saw it. I can feel it. Perhaps, I am not that kind of girl will do those what is in your expectation expressions. You says you know me. Very well, or maybe not. Whatever.
Next, what have I planned, if it not the finalise, for sure I have my own considerations. Do not let your convenience become other's troublesome. I'm apologising about that day outing, actually I doesn't hope to apologise. I became mad after reading your words as well. That event or some kind of fair I can say is not really big. 5-10 minutes you can finish all. Due to distances, transportation and your time consideration, I really thinking that it is not necessary to come for such 'event'. And, I did said something that not really sounds nice to you. I admit that. Cause I know if I don't do so, you will self create many fuking questions and emo-ing there. My dear, I have no idea why our relationship become like this. Mess of shit.
Last, I never giving up on you. I really think that maybe you still can't get what you mean to me that's why you feels like I am annoying for you.
I want a friendship like
-not always bull shitting. Few times.
-can start with a silly topic and could be end up suddenly. If you really can't accept that. I'm sorry.
-we can date each other for sure. but, you have to know not always you and me only two of us. If really do so, that is a outing that PLANNED to ONLY WITH YOU.
-we can share and intro our friends. I always hope so. It doesn't mean who you or I brought is what what what. Get?
-we can do silly things. Of course, I am kinda weird human. Loves being alone so much. Silent suddenly no matter in what moment.
-i love you in terms of brother, friend. you're important, but, hubby the first. you knew it.
You know what, every time the first person I think of to drink a cup of wine, is you. I just don't know why. The only reason I can list is, you can help me finish up all? Yea.
I'm not that strong as you thought. I'm really not. Maybe just like others said, macam yes tapi bukan. I don't know why you always say so. But I really feel I'm not independent, strong enough. Girls nowadays are independent and strong and tough enough. I just have a shield that given by many. What am I? Noting. Gradually, I can feel what I've done, it's really light like dust. What I've try, useless. Can't feel my works. But you're different.
I told you. I have multiple-personalities. When I say so, trust me. It is 'really multiple' as you can't imagine. If you know me, just leave me. If you don't, left me.
I know we can argue whatever we want as long as we have the different perspectives in so many things. I do enjoy that. Friend, no need to explain too much.